six years ago (i can’t believe it’s been six years), on october 6, 2003, elaine joy aton de la cruz – daughter, sister, fiery leo, passionate poetess, tireless activista, proud babae, fearless, radiant, lovely, honest, vulnerable (the list goes on and on) sister-friend – left.
it’s never really seemed fitting to ask, why? i imagine this world, this life simply couldn’t contain her anymore.
today, august 6, is her birthday. i wonder what her earthly celebration would’ve looked like if she were still here. what kind of awesome craziness would she have gotten into? then i found this web entry from the last birthday she spent with us in 2003:
***
08.07.03
MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY
My birthday festivities made an impression, or at least caught the attention, of a couple people I did not even know:
Waiting on the sidewalk outside of the Note:
“Hey, how was your birthday?”
Actually, it’s almost her birthday, I explained. Vanessa’s birthday starts at midnight.
“Wasn’t your birthday yesterday?”
Yes.
“And did you have a good time?”
Fabulous, I said.
“How do you know him?” Liza asked me.
I don’t, I shrugged. Curiosity caught me later, and I walked over to introduce myself.
“It’s Joy, right? I heard you do a piece on the street last night. Something about loving poets… and then one of your friends did a poem too. A bit, um, risque, right?”
Right. Since they only go halfway through the list at the erotica slam, since most everyone around me was a poet, and since leos are rarely shy, especially when they have an excuse like their birthday, I requested poetry. Friends performed as we loitered on the sidewalk, erotica if they were so inclined.Scoping out Zentra:
“Hey, I met you the other night. Were you at Sinibar?”
No, I wasn’t. I’m not actually from Chicago, I said. From out of town.
“I did meet you. It was your birthday, right?”
Depends on what you saw me doing on my birthday, I joked.
“Does that mean you were getting into trouble on your birthday?”
Just dancing…
“And drinking?”
I laugh as he reminded me about that night at SubT: dj Ddouble called me out on the mic — “Slow down birthday girl!” he announced — when he saw me down my Cosmopolitan. I just wanted to dance without worrying about spilling. Martini glasses are cumbersome that way.
***
yep, that’s joy. potent.
do something joyful today:
carry around pocket change in a ziploc bag.
do the octopus dance.
bat an eyelash.
lick your lips.
ask a stranger to buy you a drink (actually, these days, maybe that’s not a good idea).
stuff left-over pizza in your filing cabinet.
lose your shoes.
take the bus in the suburbs.
drag home a giant piece of cardboard and turn it into an art piece.
recite poetry on the streets of wherever.
call your homegirl’s boyfriend to remind him how awesome she is.
get arrested. on purpose.
make a giant puppet.
work at the aquarium.
have sex.
eat cheesecake.
speak softly. but HARD.
make chapbooks out of office supplies.
doodle.
spend the night at your nearest cross-cultural center.
bite your tongue for no one.
love fiercely.
write like there’s a gun to your head.
don’t postpone joy.
i miss you, sis. love all the time all around everywhere. hard.
-dianne
find more of joy’s writings here.
that’s right! Peace, love, and joy to us all!
i miss her so much! this past weekend was the SPACES-SIAPS Summer Summit. This was the 6th and i remember back when it was the 1st when she coordinated it. This year, the students got to hear and reflect on her voice and poetry. it was indeed a JOYful moment.
thanks for always remembering her, joseph.
Hey Dianne. I just saw this and had to comment. Although I really don’t know what to say. Hehe. So I will just say, God bless everybody she left behind who still remembers her to be that awesome person, and misses her.
hi stace-ris (still can’t fully call you iris),
thanks for the comment. i wonder if you maybe saw a bit of yourself in my description of her? hmmm.
Yeah the funny thing is, a series of people borrowed my Brandy diary (remember her? She’s covered in blue paisley print) and after two years of wandering, she just came home. And I finally got to read again that farewell letter you wrote, when you told me about Joy.
My coffee book is sort of like a tribute to her. Or at least the fact that some of the things I do reminded you of her. =)
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