on joy and hope and sorrow

on joy and family:
today is the 6th anniversary of the passing of our dear sister-friend, elaine joy aton de la cruz. i was so blessed this morning to spend some time with joy’s family, our family – auntie ligaya, uncle bart, and sister christina – to mourn, remember, celebrate, and just BE in the spirit of JOY (over silog and sisig – pinoy soul food, if you will ).

on joy and hope:
in 2004, shortly after she passed, i named joy, “hope” in Story, KP UCSD’s 13th annual pilipino cultural celebration (pcc). at the time, though i know what i felt, i don’t think i could have articulated why i named her hope. only now am i starting to discover who hope is…

hope is the ability to find opportunity in every crisis.

hope, not just a feeling, but an ability, a skill, a craft that must be practiced, honed, and nurtured lest it be lost or forgotten. though i am still heartbroken, though i miss her dearly, in joy’s life and in joy’s death i have found opportunity…to cherish and protect my friendships, to make time for annual gatherings, to harbor a child-like imagination, to be spontaneous and daring, to live what i love, to seek truths, to love fiercely, to write furiously, to use commas, dashes, and ellipses with reckless abandon, to defend my dreams, and to discover the parts of me that are joy. because of joy, for joy, with joy – i have the opportunity to LIVE. because of hope, for hope, with hope – i can be joyful while living.

on joy and sorrow:
i stumbled upon the following poem while scrolling through facebook status updates (lame? probably). i found it too appropriate for a day like today.

happy joy day, everyone.

On Joy and Sorrow
Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises
was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup
that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit,
the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart
and you shall find it is only that which has
given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping
for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,”
and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board,
remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales
between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver,
needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

embrace your sorrow.

remember hope.